I don’t know why I have agreed to help my mother in law with her house renovation project. Because of it, I must go and look for fences Longueuil. Why did I do that? I could have stayed home and enjoyed my only day off by doing something that I enjoyed. Or sitting down on the couch and watching TV!
Maybe because I felt guilty? Maybe it was pity that I felt for her? Us two we never had a good relationship. That’s because she never liked me from day one. In addition she was not shy to tell it to my face.
Now that her husband passed away, I asked myself how I would feel if that happened to me? How would I react if I would have lost my life partner? While I was trying to figure out the answer to these questions, I realized that what I believed to be hatred towards her was not actually a feeling of hate.
I can’t really describe it but I know it’s a mix of frustration, annoyment and pity. I didn't feel this way towards her before my father in law died. For years I tried not fuel her or transform our short acid conversations into a fight. At one point, I had enough of her mean comments and I simply told her not to bother talking to me nor to come to my house.
Imagine that caused a scandal. The one who suffered the most was my husband. He felt trapped between the two of us. I agreed that I went over the limit that time. I apologized to hubby for my behaviour, though I could not say sorry to her. I let her know through her son, that it was okay for her to come and see the grandchildren whenever she wished.
At her husband’s funeral it was for the first time when I saw that she had a vulnerable side. Until that moment she never gave me that feeling. She always behaved like a shrew around me. She never lost any occasion to pick on me, make a mean comment or look down on me, as if she never considered me good enough to be fit for her son.
Today I spent two hours running around looking to find a precise type of curtains for her. While I was trying to find exactly what she wanted, I wondered if the dynamics of our relationship would ever change.